| Jebus Save Me! |
August 3rd, 2001
Today shall go down in old person stories as a top ten for when I'm old with grandchildren. After my story of how I got laid by two nurse twins who seduced me after having my tonsils out. Tonight, as I quietly cooked myself dinner in the microwave, minding my own business when suddenly I was attacked! Not just attacked, but attacked by someone we all know and have talked to at some point in our life. Yes, I was attacked by God! I had a feeling God was out to get me all night. My first clue was when I noticed a marbel on the staircase. I could have easily slipped and fallen, breaking my neck and dying on the spot. Nice try God, but it takes a little more than a marble to take out a Kinky Sex Toy. My second clue was the sever thunderstorms that had come out of no where and had forced me to shut my video games off. God probably thought I'd go insane without video games and kill myself, but he was wrong, I could still masturbate so I was fine. But I was wrong about God's plan for the thunderstorm, and as I cooked my chicken in a box the world around me exploded. I was flung backwards and lost my vision instantly from a bright white light. A friend came out yelling something, but I couldn't hear what she was saying; I'd gone deaf as well. It turns out that God had tried the oldest trick in the book: striking an antenna with lightning only 5 feet away from me. Well looks like God picked the wrong kryptonite this time, cause a small close-range explosion is nothing and my vision and hearing returned within an hour. Next time God, at least give your plans some thought before executing them, you're embarrassing yourself.
Quote of the Day: Or you'll do what exactly, hit me with that fish? - the Metatron [Dogma]
[Conatct The KST] - [Today's Entry] - [Entry Archive] - [Other Shit]
|
.
The KST is copywrite 1999-2002 all rights reserved
"The way you made them suffer, your exquisite wife and mother,
fills me with the urge to defecate!" - Pink Floyd - The Wall
|
