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My True Love: Ronald

August 5th, 2001
When it comes to fast food there is only one place I can go anymore that hasn't somewhere along the line fucked me over royally. McDonalds. It used to be McDonalds and Taco Bell until the day I went to Taco Bell and had to order a chicken salad because they ran out of taco meat. You think that would be on of the things they'd notice when they were running low on. I know most the teenagers who work there don't exactly have a Harvard education, but they should know that running out of taco meat could screw business up just a little. But as I was saying, I can only bring myself to consume the food cooked at McDonalds anymore. The first to screw me over was Wendy's. I'm not one of those people who like to have other people's excrement, but it's just way too hard to explain to the person behind the counter exactly what they need to put on my hamburger and what to leave off. But when I ask for a "cheeseburger plain" I don't mean a hamburger. I mean I want a cheeseburger without all that other shit, but I still want the fucking cheese. If I didn't, I'd ask for a hamburger plain and leave the whole concept of cheese out. It just seems a little redundant for me to ask for a cheeseburger plain with cheese. Then again I'm sure there's an entire section of the Wendy's training manual titled Redundancy In The Workplace. Now you might be thinking that you hate Wendy's too, but you also hate McDonalds, in which case you're a Burger King fan. Burger King is just fine, I mean hell they tell me I can have it my way, which is exactly how I want it. My way, unfortunately happens to be McDonalds, which Burger King has yet to be able to manage. Every time I go in and ask for a quarter-pounder, I end up with a whopper. I wanted a quarter-pounder! I wanted you to get off your fat ass and cross the street to McDonalds with my money and get me a number 4, and I don't want you to complain about it either. Oh, and I want you to pick me up a Hustler and a bag of Doritos from the gas station next store. That's my way, and that's the way they should have it, but they don't. Not even close. So you might have a million complaints about McDonalds: their coffee's too hot, there chicken's shaped like a head, well that just makes you a pussy because you're not complaining about incompetents, you're complaining about the food. And that's just retarded. If you don't like the taste of the food stay out, I happen to think when they get my order right that Wendy's and Burger King taste good. I'm just not willing to put up with some sped's to get it.

Quote of the Day: Savey Indian chewing tabaco, it's not just for indians - The Critic

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