Television before the 90's was a fantasy world. Sitcoms were about the perfect family trapped in the most perfect of worlds, getting in the stupidest of situations that for some reasons seem like the end of the world to them. We're just now learning that you can't take things like that at face value. While these shows seemed like the perfect world, in the core they were black and cancerous. The cast and crew were constantly at each other's throats and there wasn't a moment of peace on the set. But did we give up our picture perfect families and our psychotic casts for the better? Nowadays every show is about gays or lesbians, and for a while I thought it was just a stupid trend, but now I see the real truth: producers don't want VH1 to make a made-for-television movie about them twenty years from now, so they pick all gay casts who won't be at each other's throats. Cause I mean we all know gay people are sex driven pedophiles who don't have time to fight because they're too busy spreading AIDS and homosexuality (the two worst diseases of the 90's). But what made me think of this? I'll tell you what. You see my friend couldn't get a credit card, so being the genius that I am, I helped him acquire one under a fake name, but on our first attempt we were savagely shot down. I honestly didn't know that Different Strokes was that popular of a sitcom, and I certainly didn't know Gary Coleman was that famous of an actor that the lady over the phone could spot we were a fake. But what if I used an actor's name from a 90's-up television show personality? They wouldn't have a fucking clue because of all these gays and lesbos who've hogged our airways it's impossible for Negro midgets to get noticed. I was stuck using a fake name that no one in their right minds would ever question:

Quote of the Day: I can't stress this enough, if you're going to try this do so on national television. - Mo Rocca