If I had to chose a place I'd rather pick a fiery hell over it'd probably be the gym. That's right, I'd take an eternity of having my balls slowly chewed off by a pack of crows than to have to visit the gym. Don't get me wrong, this has nothing to do with exercise. Though I do know for a fact that the bully kicking sand in your face isn't going to be intimidated by you if you work out. Besides, that sand-kicking bully is the one who signs your paycheck every week and the only thing Charles Atlas is going to do is supply you with enough guns and ammo to take out the entire office. And we don't want that. So what is it about the gym I hate so much? Well it might be the fact that it's a contemporary torture chamber but I'm going to shoot for the fact that the men's locker room is like an all male Belgium whore house. See, I've got enough pride with my genitalia that I can comfortably change in the men's locker room, but some of these 50 year old guys strut around completely nude letting their old balls and squirrel penises show freely. But that's not the worst of it. These guys won't just walk nude from the shower to their locker, they hang around in between. They'll watch a little tv, in the nude. They'll lean against the wall and contemplate "carpet", in the nude. They'll form completely nude gangs who like to stand around and talk about the weather and stocks, in the nude! See the pattern? These people are just nudists waiting to shine. Someone a long time ago might have made a reference between the men's locker room and Eden and things have never been the same since. Maybe this is just a way they get their jollies off. They stand around thinking "oh, I bet that guy over there's looking." Well of course he's looking. He's dumbfounded as to how you can have (no pun intended) enough balls to just stand there and watch a basketball game nude when your pants are no more than 5 feet away. It's not like he's admiring your posture, he's trying not to show signs of disrespect such as laughing, or maybe spitting. And there's no way to make them put their pants on. They're just too stubborn. You could sprinkle tacks on the floor and these guys would just pick their legs up a little higher to reveal a little bit more. Let's just thank god that working out is no where near full-contact. Than we'd have to find other ways for these guys to get their jollies off. Or maybe finding other ways is the answer. We could take out a few johns from the stalls in the men's locker room and add spank buckets with semi-erotic pictures on the wall. I'd sure it'd be illegal to have full fledge hardcore pornography, but any guy who can get off by standing in the buff can get off to semi-erotic pictures just as well as full erotic. Hell, guys like that get off pinching a loaf on the toilet. I know that sounds gross so the only thing I can ask of you now is to cut out the following semi-erotic picture and please, hang (or paste **wink wink**) it in one of your local gym's stalls (but clearly mark the wall as the spank-stall!) That is all.

Quote of the Day: Piss, shit, fuck, cunt, cock-sucker, mother-fucker, ass, fart, turd, and twat. I fucked your mom! - Family Reunion by Blink 182